


770-880-1314520

by captaincastello



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mystery, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaincastello/pseuds/captaincastello
Summary: Of course it’s a secret code, and of course it’s destiny that brought it in Dirk’s hands in the form of a badly written scribble at the back of a Chinese take-out receipt.Of course, Todd is quick to dismiss Dirk’s loaded artillery of various and arguably over-imaginative conspiracy theories.





	

**Author's Note:**

> my first brotzly fic! :)

_770-880-1314520_

 

Of course it’s a secret code, and of course it’s destiny that brought it in Dirk’s hands in the form of a badly written scribble at the back of a Chinese take-out receipt. Also, the fact that his best friend and assistant, Todd, was the one to bring it home with their dinner is a telltale sign that it has to be a mystery, a new case.

Of course, Todd is quick to dismiss Dirk’s loaded artillery of various and arguably over-imaginative conspiracy theories.

“Not everything has to be a case, Dirk, just leave it. I’m not about to give the universe another invitation to throw assassins and crazy people at me, and it’s _not_ a secret code – it doesn’t have to be _anything_.”

Of course, Dirk interprets this flippant reaction as the universe’s way of sending him a challenge. After all, when does he ever listen to Todd anyway?

Dirk, no. Dirk, _yes_.

The first clue is the receipt itself – it comes from Todd’s new part-time job, a local Chinese diner a couple of bus stops away, which is why Dirk is now hiding behind a large green wheelie bin at the back of the humble food establishment, waiting for destiny to bring him the next piece of clue. Also, it’s a pretty decent spot to watch his adorably small flatmate/best friend/assistant wait tables inside.

“Uh, can I help you?”

Dirk immediately twists his body to face the direction of the voice – only to find a young Asian girl with red highlights staring at him the way one would when they see someone suspicious hiding behind a trash bin to spy on a particular unknowing cute boy – wait, that’s him.

“Hello! If it’s any comfort, I’m not anyone suspicious, nor am I a creepy stalker with hidden ulterior motives. I’m a professional detective looking for potential clues for a genuinely legitimate case.”

The girl is still looking at him with as if he’s a suspicious creepy stalker full of ulterior motives, a look which is always followed by an attempt to walk away from Dirk. Except that somehow doesn’t happen, and the girl is laughing to herself instead.

“Tall guy in a brightly colored jacket, talks at hyperspeed with a –and I quote – truly adorable accent, will firmly claim to be a detective on a real case,” she says, hiding a small laugh behind her hand. “Seems very accurate.”

“Do I know you?” Dirk says after a pause, looking undoubtedly amused and interested.

“Nope, but your roomie’s talked about you enough for me to sort of _know_ you, Dork Gently,” she says without any real mockery in her tone, and offers her hand for him to shake. “I’m Xiao Ling.”

“I thought I told Todd not to make that verbal typo again,” he replies, taking her hand and shaking it zealously. “So you work here with him?”

“I’m just about to start my shift when I saw you were up to no good here,” she says. “So, back to my first question – is there anything I can help you with?”

Something clicks in Dirk’s mind – everything is connected – Xiao Ling meeting him here in this exact time must have a reason.

“Yes, in fact I do think you can help me,” he says, and fishes out the crumpled receipt he kept in his jacket pocket – which is probably not the most sanitary idea considering the fact that Todd had thrown it along with their take-out bags the previous night. The paper’s decorated here and there with oil stains and dried soy sauce, but because it’s the only piece of evidence he’s got, he holds on to it.

“Do these numbers mean anything to you?”

The girl takes one look at the tainted piece of paper and the enthusiastic reply is immediate.

“Yeah, Todd asked me to write them down yesterday,” she says, eyeing the disgusting little thing in Dirk’s hands. “Were you carrying _that_ inside your pocket all this time—”

“Details, details,” Dirk says with an awkward laugh as he waves the paper playfully in the air. “Miss Xiao Ling, since you are the source of this secretly coded message, can you please tell me what it says?”

“Wait, didn’t Todd… “ she begins, looking somewhat dubious until something like a lightbulb lights up in her eyes, and the dubious look is gone and replaced with amusement and interest. “Ah, I see.”

“See what?” Dirk says, tilting his head a bit in the way that he does sometimes when something piques his curiosity. “Wait, so _Todd_ asked you to write this down? Does he know what this is?”

“This is some sort of a code us teens use. Each number represents a Chinese character.”

“So what does it say?”

“亲亲你，抱抱你，一生一世我爱你。”

“… I honestly did not understand any of that,” Dirk says after a pause.

“Good,” Xiao Ling says, and Dirk notices her looking past him for a split-second before she starts walking around him towards the back of the diner. “Because that was not for me to make you understand. But I do hope that helps!”

She gives him a quick friendly wave before disappearing through the backdoor. Cryptic message from a young girl who leaves before she can provide a proper explanation for the cryptic message she just left the main character to ponder upon – Dirk is fairly certain he’s definitely on a legitimate case here.

Suddenly, as if on que, a smol Todd storms out from whence she just entered, looking very much like he’s in the mood to punch or slap or just somehow physically maim a Gently.

“God, what did I tell you—”

“Okay, first of all, it’s not God, I’m just Dirk—”

“Didn’t I tell you _that_ wasn’t anything?” Todd says, and he says ‘ _that’_ and not ‘ _this’_ because they’re fighting over the piece of paper over their heads. Curse the height difference!

“But it is! And apparently you already knew,” Dirk says, eyes sparkling with excitement riddled with curiosity. “Each number stands for a Chinese character, which if I remember correctly should translate to 亲亲你，抱抱你，一生一世我爱你。”

“What?” Finally, Todd stops hopping on his tippy toes.

“亲亲你，抱抱你，一生一世我爱你。”

“You speak Chinese?”

“No, but I do have a pretty good memory, and I don’t understand a word of what I just said. But you had Xiao Ling write this, so you already know what this means right?”

Todd makes an exaggerated show of exhaling. “Dirk, just drop this and give me the receipt—”

“Not until I find out what 亲亲你，抱抱你，一生一世我爱你。 means.”

“ _TOAD_!” A cracked voice croaks from behind Todd, making the two childish overgrown men jump to attention.

Todd sighs as if he’s had one too many Dirk Gently’s for one night. He turns around to face his boss, a petite Chinese lady who walks around with a wooden cane, and whose eyes are still sharp as a knife blade – which he more than often feels are directed at his back.

“… Yes, ma’am,” he says flatly, too done with trying to convince the old woman that his name is not the baby frog. Dirk snickers to himself, which earns him a kick under the knee.

“I’m not paying you to chitchat, am I?” The old lady croaks, her voice raspy like sandpaper.

“No, ma’am,” says docile Todd.

“Get back inside,” she says, and makes to slide back into the diner. “And tell your boyfriend to continue his confession inside where we can give him steamed buns off your salary.”

“Wait, confession? What confession? The thing I just said just now was a confession?” Dirk blabbers in a single breath. Beside him, Todd’s jaw has gone slack.

“Young ‘uns, always with the questions!” she mutters, and apparently she has no intention of answering with her hunched back already through the door.

With the woman back inside, Dirk turns to face his best friend. “Todd, is this a confession? This little encoding of numbers is a real confession? Also, is Granny fluent with teen-speak to have known the meaning of this code?”

“Dirk, I really _really_ need to get back to work—” Todd says, and finally turns around to head back.

“Who was this intended for, Todd? For you to have asked Miss Xiao Ling’s help to encrypt this, whoever is at the receiving end of this confession must be someone who loves puzzles and solving mysteries then? Todd, are you listening? Are you having a fever? Your face is really red.”

“ _Go home, Dirk_.”

**Author's Note:**

> *Xiao Ling = because that's my Chinese name :D
> 
> * 770-880-1314520 = a friend taught me this when I went to China for my bachelor's degree three years ago. each number is a Chinese character; e.g. the number 7(qi) is almost symphonic with the word for kiss(qin). so basically it's:
> 
> 770-880-1314520 = qi qi ling - ba ba ling - yi san yi si wu er ling
> 
> 亲亲你，抱抱你，一生一世我爱你 = qin qin ni, bao bao ni, yi sheng yi shi wo ai ni
> 
> "kiss you, hug you, one life one world i love you" = basically ily forever
> 
> this just really fascinated me, and i just think it's beautiful :)
> 
>  
> 
> also, thank you so much for reading this! do feel free to leave a comment if you enjoyed it :) xoxo


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